Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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