Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
