We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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