He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
