yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
