You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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