i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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