if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
