There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
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I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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