guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
