her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
