Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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