is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
