i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
