my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
