who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
