her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
