Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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