my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
