he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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