there was a trapeze. enough said
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
