Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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