Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
