2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
