No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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