you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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