So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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