Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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