I think my vagina is haunted
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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