Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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