she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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