Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize