also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize