u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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