Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize