Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
