Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
