If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize