I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
