We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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