I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
