Small penises have feelings too.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
