I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
