I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
