I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize