ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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