I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Are my feet made of real feet?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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