If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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