in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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