I just pynch a tree in the face
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
