: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
