He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize