shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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