I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
