oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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