wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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