I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You have to summon your inner elephant
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
